Phases of love

When we fall in love, it's not just about our feelings, our brain chemistry is hooked with the other person's brain. Love is a chemical process. No wonder why we can't control what we feel when we are in love. Being aware of how the brain works will give you a wider understanding of emotions, thoughts and actions that you make during the different phases of love. 

Phase one: Lust

When we meet someone or have that moment of connection, the hormones flood the body with feelings of intense desire. Adrenaline and norepinephrine make the heart race, while dopamine creates feelings of euphoria. Attraction activates the same part of the brain as do painkillers such as morphine. This is also responsible for feelings of "liking”.

Blood flow usually arises when partners become fixated on each other. The serotonin drops, and that’s why lovers have such single-minded concentration on the object of their affection. This causes lovers to be blind to their partner's undesirable traits in the early stages of a relationship and just to focus on their positive ones.

Phase two: Attachment

There is a moment in our relationship where we start to feel a difference. Our fixation starts to dissolve, the sense of furious passion diminishes and we start to feel more comfortable, safe and nourished. At that time what happens is that our brain starts to develop a tolerance to the pleasurable chemicals and we need to start looking for that sensation, it can be extreme sports, drinking or fantasizing. Our oxytocin and vasopressin appear and that why we start creating feelings of security and wellbeing with our partners. We enter the nesting phase.

So now that you know what happens, embrace each stage and understand the shifts are not about more or less love, they are about chemistry