Is having a lover a good idea?

Many people have a lover and others would like to have it. And there are also those who do not have it, or those who had it and lost it. And it is usually these last two who come to my office to tell me that they are sad or have different symptoms such as insomnia or crisis. They tell me that their lives are monotonous; they work only to survive and don’t know what to do with their free time. Anyway, more words, less words, they are truly hopeless. Before coming to me they had already visited other offices where they received the condolence of a safe diagnosis: "Depression" and the inevitable prescription of the antidepressant drugs. When people get to my office it’s because they obviously did not improve with that diagnosis and are looking for an answer to their problems.

Then, after I listen carefully, I tell them that they do not need an antidepressant; that what they really need, is a lover!

It's amazing to see the expression in their eyes when they receive my advice.

There are those who think:

"How is it possible for a professional to give me an unscientific suggestion?!"

And there are also those who are shocked and say goodbye and never come back.

To those who decide to stay and do not get scared, I give the following definition:

Lover is: "What we are passionate about." What occupies our thinking before falling asleep and sometimes is also someone who doesn’t let us sleep. Our lover is what makes us distracted from the environment. What lets us know that life has motivation and meaning.

Sometimes our lover is found in our partner, in other cases in someone who is not our partner. We also find it in scientific research, literature, music, politics, sport, work, in the need to transcend spiritually, friendship, good dining, study, or in the obsessive pleasure of a hobby ... In short, it is "someone" or "something" that makes us be "lovers with life”.

What it's to last? Lasting is being afraid to live. It's to dedicate oneself more interested in how others live, to have pressure, to walk around doctors' offices, to take multi-colored remedies, to withdraw from gratifications, to observe with disappointment every new wrinkle, the cold, heat, humidity, sun, and rain. To last is to postpone the possibility of enjoying the present, being uncertain and fragile.

 This story ends with a suggestion; a plea:

Please don’t insist on lasting, look for a lover, be also a lover and a protagonist... of life. Think that the tragedy is not to die. The tragic thing is not to encourage oneself to live; Meanwhile and without hesitation, look for a lover... Psychology found something transcendental: "To be happy, active and happy, you have to be a lover of life."

Jorge Bucay