Why is BDSM popular?

BDSM stands for Bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. It is considered a form of paraphilia. Paraphilias are different forms of obtaining pleasure, and vary from causing pain, seeing someone cry, feeling certain textile textures, to the presence of certain animals. There are as many paraphilias as human diversity, although some have not been recognized.

With the advent of Fifty shades of Gray in books and Hollywood, this paraphilia that has been around since the beginning of humanity took a new role in the world of sexual expression. The latex, the straps, the dominance, the pain inflicted, everything took another perspective in society and the hidden desires emerged from the deep.

For BDSM to exist, there must be someone in a position of power exerting it on someone in an opposite position, as a receiver or submissive. If we see it in depth, this dynamic can be seen in almost any social structure. From political and family hierarchies to economic or cultural hierarchies, the exercise of power over one another concerns humanity from its beginnings.

The pleasure that someone can have to dominate another is not only sexual, although since sex is such a fundamental part of our nature, it is inevitable that it will transmigrate and mix to create a rather interesting and provocative phenomenon. So whoever dominates, enjoys that absolute power, that ability to do what they want, and to have in their hands someone who responds to their liking.

And what about who submits? From a psychological point of view, freedom carries responsibility. So who submits, when losing his freedom and surrendering to the other person, also loses responsibility, and that is, paradoxically, very liberating. You no longer have control and therefore the pressure to do something right or wrong disappears. You can be guided, cared for or instructed by another person without having to worry about anything else.

It should be clarified that this is an exercise that firstly involves a lot of confidence, since putting your freedom in the hands of someone, or receiving it from someone else, is very profound. It is leaving everything out to give yourself totally. Also, safety is paramount. Every BDSM practice must have a safe word, and the most important thing is the key that stops the experience. When one (commonly who submits) says the safe word it is because he has gone too far.

BDSM is becoming increasingly popular worldwide, although the country with the largest number of practitioners is believed to be the United States. By population percentage, the Netherlands is the most “Kinky” country in the world, and in Thailand, Singapore and Japan, these practices along with other paraphilias are quite common. In general, the countries with greater sexual openness, such as the latter, are the ones that tend to practice it the most. As cities, Cartagena, Rio de Janeiro, Amsterdam, Tokyo, Copenhagen and Berlin are great representatives of BDSM culture.

If you have never tried it, it is not too late, and it can be a very revealing and enriching experience for the relationship. Remember to do it in full consciousness (not under the influence of substances) and have a safe word to stop. And to fantasize!