Polyamory is a new way of relating that is still taboo. It is a misunderstood lifestyle. In her book XXI Century Polyamory, Deborah Anapol describes how to use relationships to grow psychologically and spiritually, as well as evolve as couples. These relationships focus more on responding authentically in the present moment and allow an individual to be autonomous and their partners see them as their own reflection.
In polyamory you can establish formal relationships with different people. It is possible to have a husband who you share your home and life with, and also have a boyfriend. A wife and a girlfriend; one man and two women living under one roof; one wife, one girlfriend or boyfriend and a lover. Or two separate marriages where all four people are lovers. Many of these couples have children. The possibilities are endless!
This is a medium- to long-term lifestyle. Agreements are established and there is a primary relationship that is given priority.
In polyamory, all parties agree about who enters or leaves the relationship; agreements are made amongst participants and schedules are set up to spend time with partners. It must be said though, that to enter into this type of arrangement, you must have consent from your primary partner.
Polyamory is very common in places like Australia and Denmark, as well as other Nordic countries, where it is accepted more and more by society.
Its amatory proposal constitutes an opportunity to learn to share, create awareness with regards to jealousy, control and manipulation. All the immature behaviors we adopt when we expect to relate with someone our way. Due to its dynamic, it is a great opportunity to learn to see and embrace our shadow or any imbalance we may have, and open up to love. Polyamory is ideal for those who want to explore their spiritual growth, for adventurers who feel free and who don’t like monogamy, and for those who enjoy sharing.
My friend and mentor Lawrence Lanoff describes it like this: “For me, polyamory is the recognition that I am more than a series of stories that mom and dad told me about life. It is the acceptance that I, as the author of my life, must learn to make decisions that are in synch with the truth of my deepest desires and impulses in life.”
Polyamory is the adult perspective that we are among the main social animals in our planet. We need to share and express our love, our energy and our connectivity. Polyamory recognizes that we are able to do it; as well as our need express our feelings of love with different people throughout the course of our life. We can do it consecutively—one person, then another; or we can do so at the same moment in time. Polyamory takes the perspective of the infinite in terms of expressing and sharing love in our lifetime.