Cultivating self-love is the way to get to know your partner. The law of attraction is quite evident in relationships. We attract people to our energetic field that are on our same wavelength; if you are insecure, you will attract some who is insecure as well; if you are powerful, you will attract someone who is powerful too. Often we long for relationships with certain qualities yet we continue to attract the same type of man or woman, the reason is that on an emotional or energetic level, we still haven’t released our blocks or we are perpetuating behavioral patterns and beliefs that lead us directly toward what we do not want. This will continue until we learn our lesson or change our belief. As the old adage goes: “Persistence beats resistance.”
Relationships are the reflection of conscientious self-work. There is no point in tallying off a list of qualities you are looking for in someone, if you don’t possess those qualities yourself. Therefore, the base of a relationship depends on your connection with yourself. In other words, you must get to know yourself and do self-work so you can let go of your baggage and be conscious of your thoughts and emotions. This will help you to fully express yourself and attract someone in your same frequency. Remember that whether your energy is in harmony or whether it is blocked, is a reflection of what is happening inside you on every level.
Remember that you are responsible for how you feel in relationships. Don’t blame your partner. If you feel bad, figure out what the root cause is. There is no truth when you act from a place of fear and unrest. Use those feelings to discover their origin. You have the power to transform feelings that feel bad into ones that feel good. Don’t get hung-up on your past. Positive feelings will always make you feel good and that is love.
You are responsible for your own sexuality; don’t project pleasure or dissatisfaction onto others. Everything comes from you.
Why do we give external situations or other people the power to determine our self- worth? Why do we think being special will make a difference in love? Why are we filled with fear when we don’t find love or attention the way we want it or were conditioned to want it?
All these questions arise when I feel I am distancing myself form love, when I create separation due to my past wounds, and I under-estimate my self-love and value.
The stories in my mind arise because of fear of loving and being loved.
Love is only love; when I try to control its outcome from my imagination, my story, or my pre-conditioned thoughts, it becomes a false illusion.
When I am not in harmony, I reflect from deep within and I recognize that the feelings of fear and uncertainty come from my beliefs and the culture in which I was raised. I judge and criticize myself; and that’s not real.
Fear is fake evidence that seems real. But when are your fears real? Fear only creates separation; it is our ego that wants to control everything so it is perfect and as we want it to be. Fear distances us from love. It is self-sabotage and punishment, it is a distraction form love and light.
Love cannot be understood; it is a feeling, a warm sensation that invades our cells, our hearts, our entire body and energy. It is in everything that surrounds us as an extension of our self-love.
Being completely honest with ourselves, in total alignment with our being, awakens absolute clarity regarding our desires and boundaries; it clarifies who we are.
For more info read my book " From the sweet spot to the g spot" on amazon, itunes.